How to Make Home a School of Self and Personality Development - A Party of Guests in Home Class Room

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The obedience and discipline differ as it seems, but how much difference is there. If one obeys, it may seem discipline and thus we these two terms seem as if one following the other. However, there are levels that make a great difference if we consider the levels to which these differences we apply. The most noticeable ones are:

1. Physical: This includes the obedience at physical level. Say your mom ask you to serve the guests with cup of tea. It can be done obedience and discipline can be easily shown. This is considered as etiquette and manners that can win hearts. The next level has difference.


2. Emotional: Now, a guest asks that one does not want sugar, and thus refuses to take cup of tea that you are serving. We may be intellectual or emotional but with or without maturity. We come to manipulate in such a way that through some interaction, we can either make the guest refuse to take anything and thus save doing the action of serving. The other point can be to engage one in lucid conversation to avoid action. However, we notice that we emotionally manipulate. This may still impress the guests when we are serving them in the way as if entertaining them. This harms us not them as we remain emotionally immature and seem to use intellect for such manipulations while claiming that we are not for working as a servant. May be we are busy in studies, work and something, all of which appears very important when we are needed. If there are no guests, we may spend hours freely without doing anything. The next level helps to remove such weaknesses.




3. Mental: We use our intellect to making thought, action and feeling appear as one as if fully synchronized. However, now the guest, who has refused to take cup of tea with sugar may request us to make or prepare another cup of tea. If we have emotionally manipulated, our face goes either blank or we may have fake smile. It gets joy out of the party or the gathering of guests. We can make another cup of tea. Usually it happens that we avoid allowing the guests to participate in the gathering and all becomes as if watching a movie and being served by the cafe owner and the waiters working there as none can have access to the kitchen to see or help in what is being cooked or prepared.

Thus, the guests may seem to have a distance and all seems a mask of artificial behavior that cannot help anyone. If we prepare another cup of the tea without sugar, we are sure to think about that guest and feel personal with one. It immediately makes us think. This is inviting intellect to work for others as we have already done the physical and emotional part. Our concern will lead to some kind of intellectual discussion that is not preplanned or already a selected topic. The guests start to involve in the discussion personally if we do not pretend. It helps in the intellectual maturity. However both the emotional and intellectual maturity needs integration that we manage as there is still higher level.


4. Philosophical: This word Philosophy is not related with just body, heart, mind thus what we show in our actions, behavior and thoughts. It is the ability to show what we are without intending to make efforts about how others should think of us. It removes the psychological problem of creating false or fake impressions, images and action. In other words, the psychology deals with our IQ and EQ, and we want to be seen as the best, and it is done in both ways, through superiority complex we try to force others to see what we want them to see and in the inferiority complex we try to hide all that we do not want others to see.

Now, both are complexes, the intellectually or emotionally immature person follows one of these depending on the situation.

If we discuss why one does not take sugar and indirectly make a mockery of it, we may not be a mature person. If we ask what are the uses of not taking sugar, we save the faces from pretending. The philosophical aspect focus on the beauty in diversity that is present in any form, as we have some differences based on our appearance, weaning, riches, possessions, education, job or status and thus is the endless list that invites comparisons making us feel superior or others inferior. This does not help us think and feel the real joy of sense of equality, the essence of peace of mind resting in tranquility, serenity and poise. One of the Indian saying is: "A guest is God or Lord".


This is well elaborated in Leo Tolstoy's novel War and Peace in which Martin experiences it. This philosophical view influenced many great people including Mahatma Gandhi. Now, the discussions are not arguments to prove what we are not, but sharing the differences as qualities that we cannot have all as an individual. If we look at the weakness of anyone, we may never learn from the open books that speak and we know it, yes, we the humans are the open books whom only few can read, many of us simply memorize the details about others.

The party at home needs planning and  thus Plan Your Next Party From Start to Finish. The place for it is the Kitchen in Need of Something from All of it!




Thus, our participation at all levels gives us self-discipline that needs no dictation, but dictionary in which there is explained the word self-culture that we know Sanskara in Hindi, Punjabi and Sankskit language. It helps.

Thanks for your reading it.

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